I needed to hear from Him.
You know me by now and you know that I would probably rather make a joke or listen to your story than admit that I am living a story that confuses me.
I reached a point this week where, even though I wasn’t pursuing it wholeheartedly, I knew what I needed most was a word from God. I wanted to hear Him and at the same time, I didn’t.
I feel confused enough today, I thought, I don’t need to add attempting to hear God in these complicated situations. [By the way, this is messed-up thinking. Don’t agree with me. I came around. Just keep reading.]
So I sulked. So I sat in my own confusion and wondered if I was capable to do all these things that were on my plate. Work stuff, boy stuff, future stuff, weight stuff, so. much. stuff.
I drove my car to a local coffee shop called Frothy Monkey, my mind spinning. By the time I pulled into the driveway, I knew for sure- I wasn’t capable. It was too much.
My friend Ashley was leaving Frothy Monkey and she approached my car. She pulled something tiny out of her pocket and placed it in my hand. She said, “Annie, I just wanted you to have this. I prayed and felt like this was for you.”
I looked down and in my palm was a stone heart and engraved was the word ABLE.
I turned it over and over, massaging every rough spot of stone, and actively trying to control my tears.
Even when my heart was too stressed, too worried, too nervous to listen to Him, He spoke. Clearly.
Reminding me that I am able. That nothing He has put before me is more than I can handle [with Him right beside me, of course]. That I am always on His mind.
My plate isn’t less full. I haven’t figured out any of the stuff previously listed. But I have this heart to remind me -- I am able.
And so are you.
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